The Eric Wroolie Blog

The Apprentice- I’ve had enough.

March 27, 2009 by wroolie 1 Comment

The Apprentice started a new season on BBC Wednesday night. Along with it will come lunch-time conversations and news updates on firings. Iâve always been a big fan. I really enjoyed watching it last year.

This year, with all thatâs going on in the economy, I donât want to watch it.

I donât want to see project managers argue with each other and posture and demonstrate how their leadership skills are better than the others. I donât want to watch Alan Sugar on his big boat or the winning teams who get pampered because they won a task.

Every day, there are more stories in the news about people who are losing their jobs and their homes. There are people struggling, and the rest of us are wondering how long until it gets us. Some people are questioning whether our society is living beyond its means. Others are waiting for the good old days to come back.

Iâm all for business, but I donât want to go back to 5 years ago when everyone was starting their own consulting businesses. Iâve gotten swept up in this too.

I used to go to networking events for ECademy, which turned out to be giant orgies of people trying to promote themselves. I was there to talk to people about Overpass, and they were there to talk about their own companies. Everyone was trying to sell to each other. I met people who promised they could get my site to the top of Google (without knowing what keywords I wanted or what my business actually is). I met so many people who decided one day to be a life coach without having any skills to support it (except for the fluff "people person who caresâ skillsâ).

It has gotten to the point that no one has any skills any more.

There have always been managers and executors. In the Army, the enlisted men were managers and the officers were delegators. Officers had a skill of telling people to do things they couldnât do themselves. Officers were pampered as strategic thinkers. Enlisted men couldnât stand them. 40 year-old First Sergeants would have to salute 20 year-old lieutenants. It never seemed right.

If you visit a garage, it is easy to see the division between skill and management. Managers are customer-facing and tell the others what to do, but they may not be able to do it themselves. They may have been very good at fixing cars one day a long time ago, but have fallen out of practice. If there are lay-offs, the manager will probably stay. The skilled labour will go.

I see this a lot in my current profession. At various jobs, I meet project managers or business analysts who donât understand what I do. They consider me their resource. I canât tell you how many times a project manager has said, âI started out as a programmer, so . . . â and tell me about how they coded VB4 back in 95 but couldnât do it today. I had one PM tell me, âI could write that sql, but Iâm a project manager now, so that would be taking a step back for me.â How could you not be insulted by that? Since when did Project Manager become the next promotion step for developer? Iâve turned down Business Analyst opportunities before.

Everyone wants to be a manager. Everyone wants to be a consultant. Everyone wants to call themselves a leader. We are running out of people who canâdoâ. We are losing those who can execute.

Tom Peters, one of my favourite management gurus, has a great quotes âYou donât promote your most talented violinist to conductorâ. The Peter Principle (different Peter here) states that, âYou are promoted to your level of incompetency.â

From where I sit, however cynical it may be, I see the massive layoffs as a big hit to our ability to execute. While the mass skilled staff who donât sit at board room tables or in meetings are being layed off, the managers are trying to make the case for why they should stay. We donât need more managers, we need more do-ers.

This is why I canât stomach the Apprentice this year. Iâm not up for it. Too many people are losing everything, and I donât want to see a bunch of un-skilled managers (I donât think management is a skill) argue with each other so they can get their dream job.

I guess this is MY populist rant.

Thursday, I went to lunch with a bunch of friends where conversation turned to the Apprentice. I sat quietly. Apparently, so-and-so deserved it and so-and-so was very rude. I canât be bothered.

Maybe next year.

Train Warnings

March 25, 2009 by wroolie 2 Comments

I get the impression that train managers have their favourite warnings to give during train journeys. There are a few standard warnings, but then there are the âWhere did that come from?â warnings.

Last year, a train manager came onto the speaker and talked for nearly 5 minutes about how important it is that we donât flush the toilet in stations. Saying it once, I can understand, but this guy wouldnât let it go. âI must stress that you must not flush toilets in stations. It is acceptable between stations, but not while stopped in a station. I repeat, that flushing toilets in the station . . . â and on and on he went.

Why canât I flush the toilet at the station? Is there a trap door that drops under the train and leaves a turd in the middle of the tracks? Is it so we donât have to stand on the platform waiting for a train while trying not to acknowledge the huge dump in the middle of the tracks? Toilet paper and all? If it is a trap door, why is it okay to do it while travelling through the residential areas leading into the city? If we arenât allowed to flush in the stations, can you still use the toilet without flushing? Do they just leave it there until the train leaves again and they can dispose of it away from platforms?

The only reason people run to the toilet before leaving the train is that the toilets at Paddington station cost 30p to use. 30p is not a lot of money, sure. But thereâs the whole problem of fishing around in your pockets for the right change when youâre dancing around with a full bladder.

Anyway, this is not about train toilets.

Last week, a train manager spent a few minutes explaining to passengers why it is a bad idea to put our head out the windows while the train is moving. It wasnât a joke, she was serious. I suspect someone must have done it and she saw him and didnât want everyone else to jump on the bandwagon. She talked at length about how close some objects pass to the train and how it could result in injury. We sat there, many people in their business suits and blackberries, being lectured to like children. It went on for over a minute. When she finished talking(âI must stress, once again, that you must not hang your head out of the train window while the train is moving. Thank youâ), someone sitting a few rows behind me added, âYeah, and donât mess around with the electric sockets.â

Outran my nipples, but am ready for the Half Marathon

March 17, 2009 by wroolie 1 Comment

Training for the half-marathon is going well. This morning, I woke at 3:30am. I dressed, synced up my iPod, and hit the road by 4. I ran 13.25 miles. It took me 1 hour and 50 minutes.

I now donât have to doubt whether I can run the half marathon in 12 days time. I know I can. The only question is how well will I do on the day. And can I keep from injuring myself until that time?

This morningâs long run was interesting. Although itâs getting lighter earlier, at 4am, itâs still pitch dark. This morning, while running through a long stretch of road with no traffic lights or buildings, I heard something rustling in the bushes besides me. You never seen someone run so fast! I was hoping a car would drive past so I would have the benefit of some headlights instead of my small wind-up flashlight. Whatever it was, it didnât chase me. I made it through the rest of the run pretty well.

Iâm on the train home from work now. The run was ages ago. I think I found every opportunity today to casually mention my run this morning to anyone I could. Like, Iâd stand up and my legs feel very heavy, so Iâd say âYeah. Went for a long run this morning so I feel a little sore.â But no one would ask âHow far?â So I just add an unsolicited âYep, 13 miles.â It was shameful, really.

But my biggest problem today is my nipples. Back when I first ran a half-marathon at age 20, I was surprised how my sweat-soaked shirt bounced up and down and basically rubbed my nipples raw. So, I used to either tape them up or cover them in Vaseline. Well, the same thing happened this morning. I didnât noticed how bad it was until I got home and jumped in the shower. I yelped at the stinging sensation. Thereâs blood on my running shirt. For the past few weeks, Iâve been doing ten mile runs with no problem, but today they chafed at 13 miles. My nipples have a 10-mile limit. Who knew?

But, itâs nice to know that at age 36 I can still run the distance I did at 21. Not as fast, of course, but I could endure it. So as I sit here, trying to restrict my movements so my shirt doesnât rub against my chest, I can be satisfied with what Iâve achieved.