The Eric Wroolie Blog

Overpass Experiences

One Little Growth Opportunity at a Time

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This week, I’m in San Diego, California– the city I grew up in. It’s brought back a lot of memories. I never thought I’d be living in a foreign country creating apps back when I was a kid. Heck… there weren’t even apps or the internet back then.

I’ve come a long way. I’m still growing. I don’t feel like I’ve reached my limits by any stretch of the imagination.

I’m here as Eric in his 50s and thinking about Eric in his teens. I didn’t feel like a grown-up then. And I still don’t feel like one now. I’m still eager to learn the next thing and build more great apps.

One of the things that bothers me with some of the questions I get on the YouTube channel is when people ask about how to get to the end stage. Like “How long will it take me to learn Android?” or “How long will it take me to be successful?” Those questions are all relative. If the younger me looked at me today, he’d be impressed. The current me is not impressed. I have so much more I want to do. If I told the younger me how much work it took to get here, he’s probably say “no thanks.”

We grow, and we tackle each issue one at a time. Each day brings another opportunity to grow, along with an opportunity to stagnate. I cringe at the thought of how many times I took that latter and am proud of the times I took the former.

Be strong and take those growth opportunities. There is NEVER a guarantee of success. But momentum beats standing still every time.

Hope you are healthy and safe. Sorry for the lack of videos lately.

And… I shouldn’t have to say this but… I wrote this myself. No AI. Just me.

I’m sorry if I look like I know what I’m doing

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I had a conversation with a friend a few weeks ago who was starting her own business.  She was struggling with the people around her telling her it was just a hobby and how she was deluding herself. They caused her to doubt herself.  In my videos, she said, I always seem so confident.   Her question to me was… have I had these kind of doubts in the past? 

Hell yeah!  I’ve had those doubts.  And I still do.

There is a time when you are starting something new when you realise that you are the only one who believes in it.  It’s disconcerting. It causes self-doubt. It makes you wonder if you are just living a pipe dream or really doing something worthwhile.  You might blame others for “not getting it” and not supporting you—but ultimately, you realise there is no reason they should.  It’s your responsibility to take the risks and prove what’s possible.  It ain’t their dream.  It’s yours.

I’ve had successes and I’ve had failures.  And sometimes, it’s in between, and I have to spin it to be a “success” just to make myself feel better.  Momentum is the most important thing in life. When you have it, don’t let it go.  When you lose it, try to get it back.  I try to look at things in a positive light—I see no benefit to pessimism.

When you start something new, and no one around you has attempted it, you are going to get negative feedback. It could be from jealousy, but most of the time, it’s because your loved ones don’t want to see you fail.  They think you don’t see the risks. They think you don’t see how bad things can go.

But sometimes you see the risks, and you decide they are worth it.  

For every time I was patting myself on the back for being free from the 9-5, I had moments where I was tossing and turning at night worrying about bills and payroll and the embarrassment of failure. 

Self-doubt is always nipping at my heals. Sometimes, it catches me.  Sometimes, I slow down and lose momentum.  I become a tight-rope walker suddenly struck with vertigo.   

In my dark moments, I remember that there is another life I can live. I can be a highly-paid developer in London.  I can work at the biggest banks. I can solve all my money problems. I can be well taken care of. All I must do is give up my time and a bit of freedom. 

That’s tempting.  But…  it’s predictable.  It’s boring.

In my moments of self-doubt, I must remember why I started this in the first place.  I see evidence of avoiding risk all around me.  In the end, I might end up in the same place as the risk-avoider—but it won’t be for lack of trying.

Sometimes, this shit is hard.  And, if I make it look easy, then that’s amazing. 

I’m still a work in progress.

New Years Reclamations

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I did a video for Overpass Apps a few days ago about New Years Resolutions. This is my favourite time of year, and I put a lot of effort into coming up with resolutions for the next year. It’s the 2nd of January, and I’m pleased to say I’m still going strong (that is supposed to be a joke). The coming days, weeks, and months may see some resolutions become victims of my laziness or overindulgence. But for now, I’m carrying them all with me.

A few weeks ago, I was in my storage unit looking for my artificial Christmas tree when I found a notebook which held my resolutions from 2003. 20 years ago. That was humbling. Some things I did, many I didn’t, and others I accomplished for a while and never kept up with.

At the age of 50, I find that my resolutions are no longer unique. They turn up again and again. And many of them are geared towards starting something I used to do or being the way I used to be. In effect, they are not resolutions but reclamations of my former self.

2022 was a year of ups and downs for me. I did many things I’m proud of (like travelling more, spending more time with family, etc.), and many I’m not. Just like anyone else, there are times when I take my eye off the ball and need to refocus.

And sometimes, I have to acknowledge that I’m not the person I used to be. I’ve gained new skills and behaviours that I love, but I also lost some that I used to be proud of. So I must reclaim them. I need to realise when I’m off course with who I want to be.

Most people I have spoken to talk about how ridiculous resolutions are. “You’re going to end up breaking them anyway, so what’s the point?” and “It’s just a day. Why not choose a day next month instead?” It sounds so defeatist to me.

The most significant accomplishments of my life came when I decided to do something out of the ordinary. They came when I decided I didn’t want to be in a boat without oars floating in whichever direction the current pushed me. Despondency came when I took what I was given without questioning it. I have to remind myself sometimes that I don’t have a normal job because I decided I wanted something more and took those risks. I have to remind myself that I have friends all over the world because I decided to do videos every day (another New Years resolution). I have to remind myself that I’m holding the oars of this boat.

In “Man’s Search for Meaning”, Viktor Frankl spoke of our need for meaning. While Freud argued that we seek pleasure, Frankl spoke about meaning– which was much different. If there’s one thing we all have now is easy access to pleasure and dopamine (and how many unhappy people are there?). If there is no meaning in your life– even if it’s one you create for yourself– you will never be happy.

I want my life to have meaning. I want to live out the narrative I see for myself. That narrative includes losses as well as wins. It includes falling down and getting back up. It includes doing stupid shit and feeling totally embarrassed, but also things doing I’m really proud of. It involves finding the best people to surround myself with, as well as making mistakes and sometimes choosing wrong. If my life is a day at Disneyland, I want to leave saying I’ve been on all the rides.

So, I believe in resolutions. I believe in goals. I believe in refocusing. I believe in taking back control.

How’s that for a ramble?