I have a tendency to think I need to describe things all the time. Even when no one else is present, I have an internal dialogue giving play by play commentary as if I was going to tell someone of my experiences later—no matter how trivial. It’s annoying.
I notice it most when meditating. As my mind starts to calm, a little strand of ego starts to comment on what is happening as if it were telling someone else about it. Eventually, I leave this voice behind too—or at least I try to.
I wonder if other people do this.
It’s more subtle than I make it sound. But when I do something, there is always an internal commentary deciding how I’m going to describe it to someone else. How can you be in the moment when you are thinking about how to describe the moment to someone else?
Simon Amstell talked about this in a standup special I saw recently. He described doing something spontaneous with friends and thinking “This would make a good experience” and rather than experiencing it fully, he was thinking of how he would describe the experience to others later. It really made me laugh because I identified with it so much.
I wonder if you woke up as the last person on Earth (like 28 Days Later—but without the zombies). Would you constantly keep writing your internal story? Or would you just exist?