If Superman had a Boss

“Superman. good morning. I saw your email about taking Christmas eve off and I’m fine with that.”

“Now I know you are eager to go out and capture Lex Luthor and save the world again, but I need you to put down on paper everything you are planning to do over the next few days in order to catch him. I know you don’t like drawing up project plans, but you know what they say–failing to plan is planning to fail.”

“I really don’t want an incident like the last time you saved the world. Sure you did a great job, no one’s saying you didn’t, but you completely deviated from the plan and didn’t even consult me on your final solution. There were times when I didn’t even know where you were. You made me and the company look bad.”

“You may have all these super powers, but I have leadership skills. I’ve been in this industry for years and I know how the game is played. The truth is, whether you like it or not, you need me. You’d be lost without me.”

Superman spends the next few hours drawing up his project plan.

“It says here you need three days to find and capture Luthor. Is it really going to take you that long? What if you walked out the building now and he is standing across the street, wouldn’t you be able to do it in two days then? Well, let’s just put down two days on the plan then.”

“I can see you’re frustrated Superman. But you aren’t the only one with responsibilities around here. I was up till midnight last night doing budgeting for the next year. It’s very important work.”

“What was that? I’m sorry, do you have over ten years management experience? Do you have an MBA? Are you six sigma certified? Well, let’s leave thinking up to me, huh?”

“Oh, Lois Lane from the Daily Planet wanted to interview you about the train wreck you stopped last week. I told her I would meet with her instead. You are far too busy be spending time talking to reporters. Don’t worry, I won’t take all the credit–I’ll tell her it was a team effort.”